BROKEN BOARDS, CHAPTER 4
BROKEN BOARDS, CHAPTER 4
A Jake Jansen Mystery
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CHAPTER FOUR - DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
The Blazer didn’t get far, rolling about a mile down Kam Highway before pulling into a local eatery.
“It would be a great injustice if we didn’t get some banzai bowls,” Jake said, pulling slowly into the parking lot before settling on a spot near the road that would make for a quick getaway where nobody could block in his vehicle. During this time of year, people weren’t the most considerate, and someone, most likely a tourist, would park so that you couldn’t get out. And that could mean sitting for quite a while.
The guys hopped out of the Blazer and crossed the crowded parking lot. Cars, loaded with people or boards of all shapes, sizes, and colors, were pulling through to gas up or stop in and get some snacks and beverages as they headed for the beaches. It was a bit of a chaotic scene, with the occasional horn honk - a no-no in Hawai’i - from a tourist often bringing an unkind rebuttal from a native islander. The small parking lot and 4-pump gas station were not designed for this level of tourism. Despite surfing making the North Shore the most popular place to be every December, this area of Hawai’i was content to stay small, unassuming, and resistant to expansion and growth.
Though the primary access through the area was designated as a highway, it was simply nothing more than a small, two-lane country road with one lane of traffic each way. The level of congestion that came from Pipe Masters could be considered intimidating. The crowds of people every year were growing by the thousands. In addition to the main event, there were the women’s events, Triple Crown events, and a handful of others. It could be complete chaos, and the daily traffic jams didn’t begin to define it. It made a rush hour in Southern California look mild in comparison.
“When a day on the waves has taken its toll,” Rabbit started singing.
“Re-energize with a banzai bowl,” Jake joined in, singing the jingle, imitating a dance.
“Such a stupid commercial, brah,” Rabbit said with emphasis through his laughter.
“But they’re not wrong either. It’s the perfect post-wave power pack.”
“And the commercial chick was hot, brah! Don’t pretend you didn’t notice,” Rabbit said with a wolf whistle while giving Jake a slight shove. Jake stumbled to the door, pulling it open while motioning for Rabbit to enter, only to cut him off and slide through the entrance just as Rabbit approached. Jake looked back with a laugh.
“Knew you was gonna do that,” Rabbit said with a pause before adding “haole.” Jake balled up his fist, faking a punch as Rabbit rolled his eyes and laughed. The guys waited for a few minutes in line, patiently making their way to the counter while reading through the many selections on the menu board. Finally, when it was their turn, they stepped up toward the register, ready with their order.
A teen girl in shorts and a black polo shirt, with her hair pulled into a ponytail through her hat, was waiting at the counter to greet the guys.
“A large shark’s cove with hemp, please, and a large,” Jake said, pointing at Rabbit.
“Log cabins with pineapple,” Rabbit said with a big smile.
Jake handed over his debit card to the girl as she ran it through the slide before handing it back. Rabbit appreciatively patted Jake on the back before grabbing some napkins off the counter.
“I got breakfast tomorrow, brah. We can hit the donut shop or try to get something at Pipe, whichever.”
“We should probably get out here super early, man. You know the drill as well as I do,” Jake said with a laugh. Jake looked at the young girl behind the counter and thanked her before looking back toward Rabbit. He paused for a moment, thinking as if he wasn’t sure what to say.
“Good to see you, bro,” Jake said with a smile. The guys made small talk while waiting for their order. The girl behind the counter returned, with a large clear bowl in each hand, overflowing with a frozen blend, fresh fruit, granola, and drizzled with honey.
“Shark’s cove and a log cabins,” she said with a smile.
“Mahalo,” both replied.
Jake and Rabbit made their way outside, navigating through the growing mix of people, surfers, tourists, and locals, as well as the steady flow of traffic into the small parking lot.
“Insane. Every year, and getting worse,” Jake said with a laugh.
“It really is, brah. As much as I live for Pipe, dealing with the people almost makes me want to stay home.” Jake shot a quick, questioning, almost disappointed glance at Rabbit.
“I said almost, brah. I’m here,” he said with a grin.
The guys reached the Blazer as Jake unlocked the vehicle, put down the tailgate, and they sat down on the back of the rig to enjoy their post-wave treat and people-watch. Rabbit motioned with a nod to one specific individual. Jake glanced up from his bowl and saw a person in a visor, a Hawai’ian shirt with a long-sleeve tee underneath, shorts, socks pulled up to his knees, walking shoes, a backpack, and a camera around his neck. His face was white with zinc sunscreen. Jake shook his head with a slight chuckled and continued eating his banzai bowl. Rabbit burst out laughing. The guys had known each other long enough to understand what amused their friend, the thoughts passing through his brain, and how each other would respond in all situations. Even with time apart, they were almost always in sync. They had been the best of friends almost since they first met.
“Tourists will never stop being entertaining. Just one of the reasons I love it out here. Tourists will always deliver. Like that one over there,” Jake said, pointing with his spoon at a person wearing a giant, orange, flowered, wide-brim hat that provided a lot of shade.
“That hat could pass for an umbrella!” Rabbit started to laugh so hard that he almost fell off the tailgate. Rabbit was a little too loud as the person in the hat shot a dirty look at the guys, and both immediately went stone-faced. The tourist continued toward the gas station as they broke back into laughter. The guys finished their desserts. Jake put up the tailgate as Rabbit held up the boards. They disposed of their trash in the garbage can, hopped in the vehicle, and started toward Honolulu. If anything, the good news was that, at least for today, they were going against the flow of traffic.
Kam Highway hugged the coastline, sometimes within a few inches. Depending on the conditions and the driver’s skill level, it could be a little scary. But Jake had driven this road thousands of times and could almost do it with his eyes closed. He knew the twists and turns, the tourist stops, and where all the best mom-and-pop food joints were on this side of the island. Jake loved making this drive, especially when he had his best friend along for the ride. They’d had many conversations about school, girls, football, and a lot of surf talk during these drives, and it never got old. But for once, this conversation would be about a different girl.
“Howzit around the house, brah? You know, without your mom?”
Jake was silent for a minute. He looked over at Rabbit and cracked a slight smile.
“I knew that question was coming sooner or later.”
“Just worried. It can’t be easy. When my mom left my Dad, and I know it ain’t the same thing, but it just, I mean, I know it’s hard. Seriously, brah, I know it’s hard.”
“Yeah, it can be. It is some days. School helps. Football helps. The waves definitely help. I don’t dwell on it. School lets me focus elsewhere and think about something else. Football, I mean, I can get my anger out on the field, burn out the energy and sadness, know what I mean? Surfing, man, you know the deal. Nothing like it out there. Just you and her. Maybe the dolphins or turtles come by. It’s just a chance to not be on land. I can escape. I can be where I want to be. Just be in that Zen moment out on the water.”
Rabbit glanced over and saw tears running down Jake’s cheek. It was a brief moment of weakness for Jake. Rabbit knew he was hurting but didn’t even have to ask.
“Dad has been vacant. It’s like, I don’t even know who he is. I think he’s just buried himself in his work. He’s trying to hide, pretend things didn’t happen. He doesn’t even talk to me. Hasn’t even given me a chance. He hasn’t been there at all.” Jake slammed his hand on the steering wheel, half crying through a laugh. He looked over at Rabbit.
“He hasn’t been to a game since mom passed away. It’s almost like I don’t exist. Hell, he doesn’t even call me Buzzy anymore. Just calls me Jake like I’m a business acquaintance. I guess it could be worse and he could refer to me as Mr. Jansen,” he said with a laugh. “This morning, he asked about our bowl game,” Jake said with a chuckle before continuing. “But hey, I guess that’s something.”
“You guys were terrible this year.”
“I know that, but thanks for noticing,” Jake said with a laugh. Jake changed the topic more toward football, talking about his success of being all-conference this year and some of his favorite memories of the season before changing the subject to Pipe Masters and the three-person race for the title.
“It’s going to be lit tomorrow. I don’t know who I’m looking forward to the most. I think it comes down to JJ and Felipe this year, man. I love JJ, but come on, did you see Felipe in that last event? The dude is on fire! Nobody with that speed. Dude, and those SICK aerials! He’s come on strong late in the season. Man, it’s going to go off. Maybe the best event we’ve attended. Stoked.”
“I think the Hawai’ian has something up his sleeve. Us Hawai’ians always do, brah. Plus, his home break. Though, you know Gabby’s not going down without a fight,” Rabbit replied.
“You ain’t wrong,” Jake agreed.
The Blazer rolled down Kam Highway as their conversation continued. It wasn’t long before Jake turned to shortcut across the hilly, steep, winding Likelike Highway as the light rain over the hills started to come down. The Blazer made the ascent before passing through the tunnel and then out into the sun, staring down into the city of Honolulu. It was a view that never got old. They started their descent into Honolulu before Jake began to make his way through the neighborhoods toward Wilhelmina Rise.
Jake slowed and turned into the driveway at the house where Rabbit was staying.
“Want to come in, brah? Auntie would love to see you. Been a while.”
“Nah, man. I’m good right now. Maybe later this week.”
“All right, brah. What time tomorrow?”
“How about 4:30?”
“Brah, ugh, all right. Damn, that’s early,” Rabbit said with resignation and a laugh.
“Cool. All right, man. Stay straight. Tomorrow. You can leave the board, and I’ll store it at the house.”
Rabbit climbed out of the rig and made his way up the walk to his aunt’s house. He glanced back over his shoulder and threw a shaka toward Jake. Jake returned the shaka, put the vehicle in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and started the short journey home.
It was a quiet, 35-minute drive winding through the hilly residential communities. Jake spent the time thinking about the questions that Rabbit had posed about his mom and life around the house with his Dad. He rarely tried to think about these things. He didn’t want to. He wasn’t mad at Rabbit for asking questions he knew would be coming. If anything, Jake loved that he was a good enough friend to ask difficult personal questions without fear of repercussion. But then again, Rabbit was never one to fear much of anything. Being apprehensive wasn’t in his vocabulary, let alone his behaviors.
Jake tried to refocus his brain. He didn’t want to think about his mom anymore this evening or risk losing any sleep heading into tomorrow’s first day of the Pipe Masters event. Sometimes, the silence was Jake’s biggest enemy. In the last 18 months, Jake had spent so much time alone with just thoughts, either in his room or out on the water. After all, his Dad was distant, and Rabbit was on Maui these days. Jake had his teammates, but it wasn’t the same, as most were explicitly focused on their studies or football and the potential prospect of getting to the NFL, if possible. Despite them all being good guys, Jake didn’t feel connected to them unless it was on the gridiron. Jake’s classmate, Kona Kealoha, or KK as many referred to him, was a good friend but never someone that Jake would confide in. They’d had many classes together and worked on many projects since they were both studying Criminology at the university. Jake danced through his thoughts, contemplating the idea that he should start talking to Kona more. After all, Jake knew a lot about Kona because he could be quite the talker. But come to think of it, Kona didn’t even know that Jake’s mom had passed away. That was a staggering realization to Jake. “Maybe I’m just a terrible friend,” he thought. He let out an exasperated sigh. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to be having with himself at this moment.
Jake tried to clear his thoughts as he pulled up into the driveway. He hit the button to raise the garage door and saw his Dad’s car in the garage. He sat there a moment, thinking that was odd. He glanced over at the front of the house, seeing the lights in the living room were on. He started to put the vehicle in reverse, paused, and instead turned the key in the ignition and turned off the vehicle. He climbed out, grabbed his backpack, went around to the back of his rig, and pulled out the boards. He closed the rig and locked it. He walked into the garage, slid the boards up into the rafter next to the others, and then made his way into the house, hitting the button to close the garage as he entered the kitchen, holding out his foot to ensure the door didn’t slam.
Jake reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, and glanced at the time. Weird for his Dad to be home at this hour. “Maybe he wasn’t feeling well,” he said aloud to himself. Jake slipped down the hallway and dropped off his backpack. He listened for a moment, but no noise came from the living room. Maybe he’s asleep. A moment later, his dad’s voice came down the hallway from the living room.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?” Jake waited for a reply, but there was none. He made his way down the hallway to find his Dad sitting on the couch, looking through files, with paperwork all across the living room table, while Laird, their mini schnauzer, was curled up in the recliner. Laird hopped up and greeted his owner.
“Hey, little buddy!” Jake said as he picked him up and hugged him. “Dad, uh, what are you doing?”
“Were you talking to yourself?” his father asked.
“I was just thinking out loud. Dad, what are you doing?” Jake asked as he put Laird back down on the couch.
“Finishing up some casework. Figured I’d try to do some of this at home.”
“You, uh, feeling okay? I mean, you’re normally not home for another two or three hours.”
“I feel fine, son. Hey, I was thinking that maybe you and I could grab a bite to eat if you like?”
Jake took a moment to try and remember the last time he heard his Dad call him son. Jake was confused. After the past 18 months, suddenly, here was Jack trying to act like his father. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that one of his friends had called his Dad and told him to come home. Jake laughed to himself, knowing that there was no way any of his friends would call his Dad.
“We don’t have to, Jake, if you don’t want to.” Jake said nothing. He stood there for a moment with a confused look on his face, hands in his pockets, trying to understand what his Dad was doing. Jack waited for a response.
“Listen, Jake. You have every right to be upset with me. I’ve not been what you need me to be. For that, I’m sorry.” Jake said nothing. He stood there staring at his Dad, crossing his arms, trying to figure out what had suddenly changed, waiting for a punchline.
“Sit down for a second,” Jack said, motioning to the other recliner.
“Dad, if you’re.…”
“Hold on a minute, Jake. Please, sit down for a minute,” Jack said, motioning for the chair. “Just listen. You stormed out here this morning, and I understand. I’m sorry. Look, these 18 months have not been easy. I get it. I do. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. You may have forgotten that. I’m sorry, son. I truly am.”
Jake fidgeted while looking at the floor. He took a deep breath. He was holding on to his anger and sadness. He remembered how his Dad reacted when Jake’s grandfather passed away. He thought about the difficulties but knew that his Dad had his mom, Anne, to help him through the difficult times. Jake looked up, tears streaming down his face.
“You had mom when your Dad passed away. You even had grandma. I had nobody but you. And you abandoned me, Dad. You bailed on me. You bailed when I needed you the most. Do you truly understand? It’s not the same, Dad. It’s just not the same.”
“Jake, if you’ll let me try, I’ll work on making it up to you. Please. Listen. I used work as an excuse to hide. It gave me a chance not to think about your mom. I miss her too, Jake. Every damn waking minute of every single day. But now, I miss you. I miss my son.”
There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Jake didn’t know what to say.
“Can you forgive me, Jake? If you give me a chance to make it up to you, I will. I need you to forgive me, son. Please.”
Jake started to cry. It was the first time in 18 months. He let his tears flow for the first time since his mom’s funeral. Maybe the questions Rabbit had posed earlier in the day were the trigger he needed. Maybe Rabbit’s questions pulled the scab off a wound that had failed to heal. Maybe this was the time. It didn’t matter. At this moment, all that mattered was a moment of healing. Laird looked up, hopped off the couch, came over to Jake, and hopped into his lap to comfort him. Jake smiled, petted, and hugged him.
“Jake, it’s okay, son. I know you’re angry with me, the universe, and everything in it. I know you’re sad. I know you’re hurting. Healing takes time, with no right way to grieve. Lord knows I cry all the time.”
Jake looked at his Dad. He tried to smile. It felt like a moment of love between them for the first time in three, maybe four years. Jake couldn’t remember anymore. It had been too long.
“Burgers?” Jake asked.
“Burgers it is.”
Jake got up and walked slowly down the hallway into the bathroom to throw cold water on his face. He took a quick hot shower, washing off the dried grit of sand, salt, and surf, before changing into some jeans, flip-flops, and a t-shirt. He headed back into the living room, where his Dad was waiting.
His Dad smiled briefly before standing up and throwing his arm around Jake’s neck in a playful hug. They locked the house and headed out to dinner.