Thanks for explaining. I could look at it again. I think it makes sense also from a cinematic view fir sure. That's interesting how you set that up. Well done!
Chapter 2 and 3 were setup to introduce and establish the antagonists and catalysts of the story, to setup they would be the ones in the Hawaii that are involved in the singular incident that moves the whole story forward ....
I think the other thing here is I write with a cinematic scene concept ( it's the film student in me ) ... Which could possibly cause some confusion. ( Might be awkward from serialized chapter point of view ... when I read it straight through as a manuscript, it worked --- I can send you that if it's easier ... LOL )
- So, what happens is we meet all the initial protagonists in Chapter 1 ...
- then in 2 and 3, to create backstory development, we are introduced to the bad guys ...
- Then in Chapter 4 ... we start to rebuild Jake and Jack back together....
- but going forward, things start to go south and starts to really move the story forward.
Thanks for explaining. I could look at it again. I think it makes sense also from a cinematic view fir sure. That's interesting how you set that up. Well done!
Thanks, Jane! I truly appreciate you reading and value your awesome input! 😊
Of course!
Beautifully written, this chapter. The grief feels raw. My heart aches for Jake. Chapt 2 and 3 kind of had me lost (did I miss something there?)
This is great feedback ... gives me reason to revisit and see if I need to adjust some things! 😁
Chapter 2 and 3 were setup to introduce and establish the antagonists and catalysts of the story, to setup they would be the ones in the Hawaii that are involved in the singular incident that moves the whole story forward ....
I think the other thing here is I write with a cinematic scene concept ( it's the film student in me ) ... Which could possibly cause some confusion. ( Might be awkward from serialized chapter point of view ... when I read it straight through as a manuscript, it worked --- I can send you that if it's easier ... LOL )
- So, what happens is we meet all the initial protagonists in Chapter 1 ...
- then in 2 and 3, to create backstory development, we are introduced to the bad guys ...
- Then in Chapter 4 ... we start to rebuild Jake and Jack back together....
- but going forward, things start to go south and starts to really move the story forward.